Murky shot from the Capital Days
Different stories...
Upon waking up this Sunday, after a couple of fairly entertaining weekend nights (beer goes a long way) I realised that isolation will fuck you up. If you're alone for long enough time, you will start to think in strange manners, you will start to act randomly and you develop a great sense of paranoia. The big turd in the shitstorm is of course that you start to imagine that this is a totally unique experience and that everybody else is off living their lives in perfect fucking harmony. That everyone's invited to the party, except for you, and that nobody gives a shit about it. When in fact, we are all just as sad and lonely.
Took a walk, figured I'd round it up with a movie and a pizza (yeah! Actually rent a movie! Let's just say that the network in this building of mine is not up to any modern standards). To be Sunday, there was a lot of activity out there in the darkness. People everywhere, hand in hand, talking with shopping bags, kids walking around with candy bags, older kids sharing cigarettes, even older kids walking around with big posters and protest signs, heading for some shout-out-gathering I guess. I'm not living in a hole or anything, but it's not really the city that never sleeps either. Maybe it's some kind of collective subconscious reaction on the spring vibes I felt earlier today.
Anyway, didn't find one single movie of interest, but the pizza guys were nice. I often get the feeling they despise me from the time I accidentaly gave them less money than I was supposed to, as if to cheat them from a coin or two. The headlines screamed of SCANDAL, now about what? Could it be the Middle East Crisis? The recent hidden-camera-footage of racism within the police force? The right wing politicians and their new Nuclear views? No, it was naturally about the ESC quarter finals, and how the new system of rules are incomprehensable. I laughed, thinking Thank God I don't give a fuck. I did catch the show though, last night as Miss L's place, I had five beers and started to think that the Britney Spears-ish eurobeats were quite catchy. After that I went to the 90's club, hooked up with some class mates and basically just got wasted as a fucking dog. Don't remember how I ever got home. I litterary woke up today saying, "Mmmbop I've got a headache"
Other than that, I've been cleaning up to the sound of Working on a Dream, Bruce's new one. I don't know though, had I been "The Boss" so to speak, I'd get rid of Brendan O'Brien, who makes all of the songs feel like cup cakes. But maybe it's just a mean's end, Bruce does seem quite laid back these days. There has been a long time since he did an album that once it was finished, you really had to catch your breath. Without that uncencored darkness, and that frustration around the borders of violence, Bruce becomes a little... I don't know, flat? Maybe it's just me. The man's sixty. Perhaps that's why the album says close to nothing about my life. I do love Outlaw Pete, the opener, that one works, a big canvas, big drama, a lovely production and a bold opener. The rest of it just kind of passes me by, a nice production whopper here (Good Eye) a nice tune or two there (Tomorrow Never Knows, The Last Carnival) and you know, the E. Street by-the-numbers numbers (My Lucky Day, the title track, etc.).
Besides, it has a song called Queen of the Supermarket and that one I just fucking despise. Bruce is joyfully spitting me in the face with that one. Not that that's his fault, and I'm sure it's a great song. But it just reminds me of a Capital Girl who, in a sense, left me for a job with a smile and a name tag, sitting at the end of the beeping aisle. As far as I know, she's still there. But who knows. Some people over there give reports of having seen her with some guy. As Bruce did say, deceit and betrayal are bitter fruit.
A couple of years ago I lived in the Capital. Hellofalot younger it seems now, even though back then, I couldn't imagine getting any older. Looking back, I can't remember doing anything spectacular there. Me and The Eagle walked the streets drinking 7 Eleven-coffee, until daylight, just talking the nights through. That's what I remember to be good. That and that I had a girl.
When I think of those times, I think of darkness and rain. It's like a vision in my mind, all of the darkness and all of the rain. When I think of today, I think of brightness and cold. None of it means anything. Time has passed that's all.
I do miss her. But she's gone now.
PS
Yeah, The Last Carnival is a great song too.
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