Well, well
Haven't been writing here in a while. I have no brilliant punch as to why that's so, but perhaps nothing much has happened.
No... looking back at the posts I realise it's pretty much status bloody quo. As far as writing goes, I've been writing one or two movie reviews, but I wouldn't consider it much. But hey, anyhoops, we're off to March and I'm planning one or two tours across the country and after a couple of fairly busy weeks I'm actually starting to conjure up one or two serious plans.
Had a class today. Hadn't slept one second. First thing Vic did to me upon arrival was to burst out in laughter, hit me on the arm and say "Well, you seriously look like shit". It's been raining like some kind of boring painting off a cheap hotel room. Grey is the word for it. I sat half-asleep during this semi-interesting lecture by some Random Dry Guy, while writing one or two lines in a secret black book of mine, and provoced by nothing I started scribbling down philosophical notes. Pretty interesting things. Like for instance how everything in existance follows a pattern of circumstance. Like, it was a shitty weather today. But yesterday was all sunshine, and entering March gives one or two expectations of spring, which makes the weather today even more shitty. But had it been 2nd of April or not to mention 2nd of May, it would be considered far shittier. And let's not forget social circumstances, if you had planned a picnic today it would be the worst fucking shit weather imaginable. By the same token, if you just planned an in-door day with your girlfriend, it would be ideal.
Got a bit depressed over my ideas, when I stretched them further. Like how everything really is separated from everything and nothing really exists - you don't have a true identity, nothing is "true", your identity is a character composed by experiences, emotions, thoughts, personal beliefs (which are, in turn, totally replacable give or take further experiences). These things are in fact totally separated, it's only when you try to put them together you have to cut and paste and mold it all together in a character; and as if that's not enough, that's only identity no.1. The second identity is the one that people around you will give you - and since they are in turn just as unique their judgement will be different. What does it even mean to be someone in other people's eyes? You are fifty persons to fifty people. Then we of course have the third identity, that being your public profile, where people you've never met judge you. All in all, there is no truth. Everything is separated. Even your family members have their separate identites and you are a separate individual, divided from yourself and all the other versions of you, to each individual member of your family.
Eeeerrr.... do I have to mention these are all thoughts spawned out of sleeplessness?
Didn't think so.
